Texas Area Service Gulf Coast
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Cocaine Anonymous is a Fellowship of, by, and for addicts seeking recovery.
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Remembering Where We Came From
sure I had nothing to offer, nothing to say. I sat there listening to the speakers before me and knew they had said everything
I wanted to say. When it was my turn, I just opened my mouth and let the words pour out. I not only said what someone in
the room needed to hear, but things that I needed to hear.
"When the meeting was over, I spent some time talking to the patients and shared some more of my hope, faith and
courage. I left that meeting feeling a sense of happiness and joy I never felt before. I still feel that high whenever I speak on
a panel, especially to a group of adolescents."
"H & I helps me to remember where I came from. It also allows me to watch the miracle of recovery change others and in
doing so, it allows me to change myself. There are no words that can describe the feeling inside when someone I first met at
an H & I panel gets his/her first year token."
"Being a recovering addict, the most dangerous thing for me is to forget that I am an addict or to think that I can use
successfully, but that is exactly what my addiction tries to get me to believe. Whenever I go into a detox meeting, I am
always reminded of the simple truth of addiction and its consequences. This helps me to stay sober and to be grateful for
my recovery. It was passed through this method to me, and I feel blessed to be able to carry on the tradition."
"Leaving the correctional facility, I feel ecstatic; grateful for the privilege of being a vehicle of my Higher Power and hopeful
that a seed may have been planted in the mind of even one still-suffering addict. I share the miracle of my recovery and
how Cocaine Anonymous has changed my life; H & I service work helps me to stay clean and sober today. This is one of
the ways it works for me. Through service in H & I, my gratitude is multiplied."
"As a parent, when I leave a youth lockdown facility, I thank God that it wasn't one of my children listening to the panel.
Most of all, I feel grateful that I am sober and carrying the message of C.A. to those who are not so fortunate."
"My reason for H & I is a selfish one. To stay clean and remain grateful for what I have. It offers me a feeling of usefulness
to God and to mankind."
"The look in the patient's eyes, the sweat on their foreheads and on the palms of their hands; they're not sure if they can
stay sober another day. That makes you feel grateful because when the meeting is over, you're going home. That's the only
difference between you and them."
"Gratitude... Doors opening instead of closing, being able to give it away tThe newcomer in a hospital or institution... gives
me humility and constant realization of hope."
"It is my belief that sharing my experience, strength and hope through H & I's, I hope that I may in some small way help
another suffering addict see a glimmer of hope and a better way of life. But for the grace of God... there go I."
"When I speak on an H & I panel, the feeling that something special is going on is immediate. The patients' or inmates' eyes
light up as I'm telling my story. They've been where I've been and have felt what I've felt... hopelessness. Now they're
sitting in a hospital or jail, wondering 'Where do I go from here?' As I share the path my recovery has taken, I see at times
the look of hope re-enter their faces. As they think 'Maybe this will work for me, too.' I feel great, sharing my hope, faith
and courage with the addicts who need it most."
A New High from H & I
"What do I get out of H & I? Being affiliated with H & I has given me a broader outlook on who I am as a person, because
I have to give it away to keep it. Just being able to walk in and out of institutions is a blessing."
"During my 26 years that I used on a daily basis, I never experienced the euphoria that I enjoyed last month. While
attending a C.A. panel two years ago in a center for the Department of Corrections, I observed a new inmate in complete
denial of his disease. During the next year and a half, I received the gift of watching this man grow through the Twelve
Steps. He was released to a half-way house where C.A. holds another panel, and both of us participated on that panel. Last
month, he attended the H & I committee meeting and was placed on a panel that is going back to the same jail in which we
met. That same night, he picked up his 18-month chip."
"When people look at me today, laughing and cheerful, many ask me what I'm up to. My response is consistently, 'I'm
working with others.'"
If you like what you've read here, identify with the feelings being shared, and want to feel similar feelings, you can attend
your local H & I committee meeting and participate in your own recovery by helping others.
"We're Here and We're Free"
Approved Literature. Copyright 2003, Cocaine Anonymous World Services, Inc.